freshest happening

 I will start with my freshest happening and report it as I feel and see it. Mostly I see this as therapy.   Since I am a skinflint, I can not see paying someone to hear and analyze my thoughts when I can talk to myself for free.  Do you hear me now?
 Last weekend I had to keep my dad....sorry to say but he has to be 'watched' now when he is not in Adult Daycare.  Thank God for who ever came up with that concept.  Note to self:  Guard your memories, Exercise your brain ( hoping blogging counts) and Stay focused on your family and friends who want you engaged in life as long as you draw breath.
 Okay back to my dad.  He gave up smoking to save his lungs and somehow saw chewing tobacca as the healthier choice.  But now he keeps his teeth in a glass unless he wants to eat, and his constant companion is a spit can. 
 Not that he talks much anymore and remembers even less, but when I chose to sit with him and try to have a conversation, the routine was -- speak-spit--speak-spit and forget about looking at him while we talked. YUCK!
 I know this sounds critical but it is reality, and it saddens me.  I just got to know and enjoy my dad several years ago when he moved to the country and was surrounded by the familiarity of his youth.  He found his peace and consequently he was able to release some of his love that was locked inside.  It is a shame that my relationship is now reduced to fixing his coffee and reminding him where he is.  Old age is cruel sometimes!!!
 If you read and relate -- good for us-- because I know there are more folks out there that feel emotions but contain them for fear of inflicting or enduring pain.  But I am finding the other side of that is that as pain is released there is more space to be filled with joy, contentment, and love.
  Sometimes I want to scream at my dad, " Say NO to existing and YES to living.  Just make a choice --mustard or ketchup. But don't say it doesn't matter".  My dad is too deep in the fog now, but I hope to save myself!!!
 Even when we are too old for our parents to advise us, we can get hints of how to proceed and even find pitfalls to avoid.  Sit quietly and watch how they deal with the obstacles and blessings of their 'maturing' years. Take the good and sift out the bad.   Let's use that wisdom to improve our chances of having a glorious ending to our story.