FITBIT  Anyone?    

As recent as 6 months ago, I would have said " not me". I am exercise challenged and don't want to keep up with or be made aware that I have been at my desk for 3 hours without any noticeable movement.

Ha! but things do change..and, in my case, for the best.

In the fall of last year, I was hounded ( I mean coaxed) by a dear friend to join the world of those who care about their health and actually walk the walk. This friend believes that his happy place is the gym. 

Okay, I got my gumption up and signed up for the Wellness Initiative at my job.  It is sponsored by Blue Cross Blue Shield Insurance.  Or course, they want to support good health practices.

Our gym is small but still is full of shiny metal apparatuses that look dangerous for the reluctant and untrained person such as myself.

The exercise bike...I could handle.  I remembered that from my youth.At that time riding a bike was not called exercise. It was just fun!

I got braver and tried the treadmill.  It had more buttons and operations than my nonsmart phone.  When I pushed start, all I had to do was walk, right?  Simple enough.  Then I just HAD to listen to my friend again who said, "Add some variety to your routine.  Try the interval setting."  Slow then fast then slow again.  Well, apparently this treadmill was only set to increase.  Before I knew it this machine  was speeding to exercise hell.   A calm person would have thought to press the stop button.  This panicked  person just let the treadmill drag her to the floor. I have rug burn scars on my knees and legs to prove it.

Fast forward to December, and I had to use my mom's walker to get around  and ended up having knee surgery.  Doctor said to cut the treadmill some slack.   Besides having a torn meniscus, some of my pain was because I am old ( who knew ) and have some arthritis.  

After surgery I was prescribed physical therapy which added to my misery and revealed that I was not as flexible as I thought.  If you don't normally bend your knee back behind your leg, you don't know that you have become as stiff as the Tin Man.

Finally I have circled around to Why I am writing about a Fitbit.  I am in possession of one.
No, I didn't buy this for myself.  Remember I like to be uninformed in health matters.  My dear health-conscious friend gave me this gift of activity and awareness for Christmas.   Plus, he included his parents in this generous gesture.  Now all of us have the opportunity to see how much we are 'stepping' and if our heartbeat is high enough to burn any calories.  As a bonus, if we join the Work Week Hustle, we become a team for support and interaction. 

I wanted to not like this gift because it focused on something not in my comfort zone.  But I gave this little blue band with flashing green lights a chance.  Lo and behold, this Fitbit is truly a gift that keeps on giving.  It has given me the desire to keep moving and has made me more aware of  what a caring person my friend is.

Each day I will keep stepping, and some days I will get to feel my wrist vibrating in celebration of 10,000 steps for the day.

ONWARD   Stepping Soldiers of Health

Who Needs Relatives?

 Who needs relatives?  sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews.... I DO! YOU DO!  We all need these people that share our blood, our heritage, and hopefully our sense of being family--even if sometimes they are a bit annoying in their desire to contribute to our future--make it better or even us better.
 They can be our biggest fan and can offer comfort, support, and constructive criticism in the name of caring.
 Do you have one or more of  those people in your family or in your face ( if need be ) ?  I hope you do.
 When I was little, I was the big sister to 2 sisters and a brother. What fun we had playing in the backyard or giggling in bed at night.  Sometimes my life seemed crowded with them all around, but I was truly never alone.  And since I am now an adult alone in a big ole house, it is comforting to know that I have siblings to drop in for a talk or a sandwich or even an overnight slumber party.  Knowing that gives me a reason to try and keep the house cleaned up but homey.  You know it would be easy to get lazy and messy as a single person.
  I am a loner by nature..like quietness and my space, but sometimes this loner want words, voices, a listening ear, or a helping hand.  Technology is my friend when that happens.  My sisters or brother are just a text message or Facebook comment away.  Who would have thought it??   And  pictures ARE worth a thousand words.  I can show my sisters how Mom's violets are still flourishing even under my care.  My brother can send me a picture of his 1st granddaughter, and I get to share in his pride and blessing. 
My nieces and nephews graciously keep me updated on their adventures and activities via emails and phones.  You see it was instilled in us as babies by our momma .. family is important, necessary, and sometimes our salvation.
 As I became an adult I realized that I was still carrying some feelings of inadequacy with me from childhood.  Because of this I did not always feel competent or even comfortable as a parent.  This is where nieces and nephews gave me a great boost in dealing with those insecurities.  I know part of their attraction to me was because I was NOT their parent, but I felt good anyway! : )  I offered my niece gum, and she took her first step.  I let me nieces walk to the country store with my kids unattended, and I was the hero.  I shared my umbrella and love for the rain with one niece, and I got a precious friendship.  How cool is that?
Nephews are different.  I just had to believe in their independence, and they thought I was 'awesome' or in my case 'crazy'.  (  I like that description just fine ). 
 Now comes the hard part. These relatives and I are ALL adults now.  Beyond companionship, they at times become my compass, confidantes, or my mirror.  Mirror, Mirror on the wall.  They see ALL and compliments are not always what I hear.  But it is the truth, and sometimes it hurts.
 These people, my relatives, have been there with me through my ages and stages and see me with wise eyes and caring hearts.  So listen I must if I am to grow and hope to be that better person that I want them to know. 
 I believe God created relatives as His ambassadors of love, strength, and wisdom. I for one need my relatives in my life because I am not done yet.  And I want them there cheering me to the finish line. 
Some body give me a R-E-L-A-T-I-V-E... God bless us all!!

Books, Books, and more

 Have you ever heard of Grand Month?  It was new to me.  Whoever thought up the concept.  Bless you!
 Apparently schools in the area have decided to expand on the Grandparents Day and bring reading, grandparents, and children together.
 During this month grandparents far and near are being invited to read a book to their grandchild's school class.
 And wouldn't you know it?  My son who hated to read in school asked me if I wanted to read at Lindley's school.
 I wanted to say NO...reading in front of class during my school days was a horror to me as a shy girl.  Why would I want to subject myself to that misery again?  Maybe it is because I am an adult and must continue to set an example for my grandkids and even adult kids.  But mostly it is because I love my granddaughter and want to share something with her besides Koolaid and Spongebob.
 So...to school I went...with my book and a stomach full of butterflies.
 As soon as I heard Lindley say " Hey MeMe", my butterflies flew away and left me with a calm feeling.  You see, one of my favorite places to be is in the company of curious and enthusiastic little minds.
 Besides my book, I brought Sally, my dolphin friend, and we shared the story of how much fun it can be to find dolphins everywhere --even in your pocket.
 The dolphins in the book shared  this secret, " Remember, Look closely and expect surprise."
 My hope is that there will always be in the life of each child  someone who will nourish his or her sense of wonder and delight.     
 Lindley surely is on the right path because she wakes each day with a quest for adventure.  Wonder what she will discover next?
 All I know is that I am thankful that I was coaxed into leaving my comfort zone to sit in a little chair in the kindergarten room of an awesome little girl.

Being a friend

 You know everyone who comes into your life affects some of your thinking and actions and shapes the kind of person you become.
 As I was growing up, I never put much thought into having friends or being a good friend.  I had two sisters and a brother.  Why did I need friends or 'playmates?
 Being a shy kid, it was taxing enough to have to interact with classmates in elementary school and Sunday school.  Plus my parents were both teachers, and it was kind of a given that teachers' kids hung together. During those early times my friendships were kind of automatic--not any connection that I felt I really needed.
 Being a good friend and having the company of a soul sister was not on my list of what I wanted to be or have.
 Until...after I was married, I realized that marriage is not the answer to lonliness, fulfillment, or self-worth.  Then I began to have to look outside my tight circle of myself and family.  I did need companionship!
 Lucky for me--once I  had this realization, I found that there were already people around waiting and wanting to be my friend.  I just had to open the door to my heart and wave them in.
 Once when I was wary of a job change, a wise and wonderful friend told me that each new job or situation was a chance to make a new friend. HA! Easy for him to say..He seems to never meet a stranger.
 But with that seed of wisdom, possibilities presented themselves, and I have been blessed with several special friends.  Each one has colored my world according to their uniqueness and my need.  I can only hope that I have added as much to their lives as they have to mine.
 Thank you God that I am having more days to learn that the wannabes of my youth are only an outline of the Great Plan that you have for me.  If we leaving the driving to you, our options are LIMITLESS.

I'll remedy that!

 Hmmm, my entries have been kind of solemn, but I have a remedy for that.  I will reflect on my granddaughters for a bit.
 Aha, I just read an email about the pursuit of happiness---meaning you must actively participate in the search for your happiness.  My granddaughters could have their pictures by that definition.  They wake up looking for fun things, and I am usually rewarded with their find even if my eyes are not open enough to see it.
 My youngest granddaughter is finally using real words instead of the squeals and uh's that her sister says are Spanish.  That explains why I can't understand.  I forgot all the Spanish that I learned in elementary school.
 Her first meaningful and useful word besides dada and mama was BABA.  She knew this was a sure way to get something to drink.  Now she has learned another word that promises her new places and fun activiites--"GO".
 As we grow up why do we outgrow the excitement that comes from just GO-ing outside, GO-ing to get ice cream, or GO-ing to a park.  We forget about simple joys and think adult outings have to be bigger, better, and way too expensive.
 Maybe we should rewind to our days of splashing in mud puddles, playing with toys with no batteries or sound, and enjoying the sheer pleasure of b-l-o-w-i-n-g bubbles.
 Three CHEERS for the game of chase---Catch me if you can!

Other side of the coin

 Now my mom was the other side of the coin.  She maxed out her positive quota daily.  Her goodwill and pleasant attitude never failed to ripple out.  She would be the one throwing the starfish back out to sea...saving them one at a time.  Mom thought that even though we had hard times some one else was suffering more, and we should be comforted by that. Well, sometimes I wanted my pity party to last more that 'a minute', and I resisted her 'cheering up'.  "Feel what you feel" is my motto as long as you do not let it rule your days for too long.
 My mom and I grew up together.  She was my best friend until she reached her 70's.  Her smoking habit finally put a choke hold on her health.  She fought hard and outlasted her whole family of 4 brothers and two sisters.
 We used to talk about everything, and she seemed enthusiastic about all my sharings whether they be trivial or tremendous.
 In her last year or so, I became disheartened by her forgetfulness and felt less like her friend and more like her caregiver.  Also I was disappointed in myself for feeling resentment toward the one person who had been my biggest fan and a calming counselor. 
 During most of her existence she felt that God blessed her and in turn she blessed every one else.  I deeply regret that I could not offer the comfort and companionship that she needed in her last 4 years.
 Since I  am living in my mom's house while we try to sell it, I am finding a little peace as I walk around in her home.  You see Mom is not really gone because she left her legacy of love and learning growing inside her family and all the friends she met along the way. It is so good to know that not only do I have God watching out for me and mine, but also Mom is our Heavenly guardian, too. How am I doing, Mom?

freshest happening

 I will start with my freshest happening and report it as I feel and see it. Mostly I see this as therapy.   Since I am a skinflint, I can not see paying someone to hear and analyze my thoughts when I can talk to myself for free.  Do you hear me now?
 Last weekend I had to keep my dad....sorry to say but he has to be 'watched' now when he is not in Adult Daycare.  Thank God for who ever came up with that concept.  Note to self:  Guard your memories, Exercise your brain ( hoping blogging counts) and Stay focused on your family and friends who want you engaged in life as long as you draw breath.
 Okay back to my dad.  He gave up smoking to save his lungs and somehow saw chewing tobacca as the healthier choice.  But now he keeps his teeth in a glass unless he wants to eat, and his constant companion is a spit can. 
 Not that he talks much anymore and remembers even less, but when I chose to sit with him and try to have a conversation, the routine was -- speak-spit--speak-spit and forget about looking at him while we talked. YUCK!
 I know this sounds critical but it is reality, and it saddens me.  I just got to know and enjoy my dad several years ago when he moved to the country and was surrounded by the familiarity of his youth.  He found his peace and consequently he was able to release some of his love that was locked inside.  It is a shame that my relationship is now reduced to fixing his coffee and reminding him where he is.  Old age is cruel sometimes!!!
 If you read and relate -- good for us-- because I know there are more folks out there that feel emotions but contain them for fear of inflicting or enduring pain.  But I am finding the other side of that is that as pain is released there is more space to be filled with joy, contentment, and love.
  Sometimes I want to scream at my dad, " Say NO to existing and YES to living.  Just make a choice --mustard or ketchup. But don't say it doesn't matter".  My dad is too deep in the fog now, but I hope to save myself!!!
 Even when we are too old for our parents to advise us, we can get hints of how to proceed and even find pitfalls to avoid.  Sit quietly and watch how they deal with the obstacles and blessings of their 'maturing' years. Take the good and sift out the bad.   Let's use that wisdom to improve our chances of having a glorious ending to our story.